Hit a rough patch

Yesterday was a tough day.  Little Miss Sophie had an impressive spit-up episode where she stopped breathing and turned red and was choking.  It was scary and left me shaken up for the rest of the day.  I was also tired, exhaustingly utterly tired.  And then little miss Sophie had a series of poopy diapers that didn't look quite normal.  The nurse kept checking in with the doctors and finally they decided that a series of blood tests and an x-ray of Sophie's tummy were necessary.  The results of the blood test said that she doesn't have an infection or bacteria, but they want do the labs again later tonight to make sure nothing has been incubating in her system.  The x-ray also doesn't conclusively show that everything is normal with her intestines.  So, they are erring on the conservative side and Sophie is on an IV again.  No feeding for 48 hrs.  More x-rays and blood tests along the way to chart her progress.  If everything is okay, then they will suspect that it is some sort of allergic reaction, possibly to the fortifiers they add to the breast milk.  So --  we shall see.

I feel like I've been trying so hard in being here, to do the right thing, to pump and breastfeed and practice and hold them when I can.  It's devastatingly hard to have things not go well.

The flip side of this all is that Theo is doing like a rockstar.  Yesterday he did breastfeeding pretty well AND he took feedings from a bottle really really well.  Our little man gets hungry before his feeding times (a good sign) and he's learned lots of skills just in the past day.  It looks more and more like Theo might get to come home before his sister will.

**Monday night update:
After reviewing the x-rays and blood work, there was no conclusive decision from the doctors.  The good part is that there was no conclusive *bad* news.  The director of the department is in charge of Sophie's case now and he's known to be extremely conservative.  So, they plan to do another x-ray tomorrow morning and perhaps we'll hear.  Apparently there's a horrible infection that premature babies can get that causes necrotic wasting of the intestines.  If Sophie had that illness, it would be extremely bad to start feeding her before it clears up.  Fortunately is doesn't seem like she has that particular diagnosis, but they want to be very very cautious.

Sophie has been understandably a bit cranky and vocal about her discomfort.  The nurses all call it "appropriate" responsiveness. We all know already that Sophie will not be shy about telling us when she's unhappy.  All day today Laurent and I took turns holding her, and in our arms she would sleep peacefully.  She deserved all the cuddling and love today.

Cute hat, right?  These are made and donated by people for the NICU.

These sweet little signs were made by one of the NICU nurses, they were posted up on the wall when we arrived the first day.

Little Miss Sophie now, after a hard night.  IV in her left arm, suction through her nose to her stomach to help decompress/empty it for clearer viewing on the x-rays, and still wearing the oxygen feed to strengthen her breathing.  Just when we were getting excited about fewer and fewer wires and tubes, she gets another full round of them.